Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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