I look better un-naked...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
