i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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