I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
