Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
