i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
