Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
