My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
