Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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