I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
