he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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