my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
