See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
