I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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