Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
