You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
