we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
