I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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