I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
