I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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