didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
