Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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