He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
