How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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