Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
