EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
