As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
