You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just high enough for therapy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think my moral compass just broke
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