i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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