it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
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