Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
