i don't like sucking hair
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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