i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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