It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
