i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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