He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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