on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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