ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
