what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
