Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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