if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
