the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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