Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
