New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
