great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
