just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
