I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
