Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
