I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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