so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he fucked my hip out of place.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Randomize
