Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
